St. Ingvar's Center for Norwegian Healing Mysteries

History of Norwegian Healing
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The Norwegian people are unquestionably the healthiest in the world. Norwegians living today enjoy a mortality rate approaching zero. But how did they get to be such paragons of wellness?

The Viking Age

The viking seafarers were an incredibly vigorous and healthy people. Some diseases they rarely suffered: carpal tunnel syndrome, lactose intolerance, food alergies, bulimia, gender disaffection, or old age. If you have experienced any of these problems, then there is probably something wrong with you.

The Lapplanders

After the Chernobyl disaster, Lappland was inundated by radioactive fallout. Lichen soaked up much of this radioactvity, which was in turn eaten by the Lapplanders' principle herd animal, the reindeer. Now these shamanistic aboriginals are channeling their radioactive power into healing crystal necklaces, to help you 'get in tune'! Truly a spiritual people.

Saint Ingvar

The patron saint of Norway, Saint Ingvar is most famous for driving all the monkeys from Norway, a feat that has yet to be repeated. Saint Ingvar is also the patron saint of armpits and snark.

For the Holistic Scandinavian in Everyone